Furby not welcome on board

I think it's time Qantas updated its in-flight safety cards.

Honestly, Furbys are so eight years ago. And for all our sakes, let's pray they stay there.

While perusing Qanta's safety card on my flight to Melbourne, I noticed the clear reference to Furby. Apparently, they're not allowed on the plane. And for good reason. If that thing interfered with signals and caused my plane to go down, I would be pissed.

Anyway, seeing Furby after all these years brought me back to a few holidays ago when the Furby was just hitting the scene. I remember it as THE toy of the season about 7 or 8 years ago. Unfortuately for my family, my twin sisters were the prime target market for these furry balls of weirdness.

Of course, the twins didn't just get a single Furby that year. They got at least four each. I can still remember when they'd be silent, eyes closed one minute, then they'd spring to life the next, squealing some gibberish my sisters taught them. It was a mortifying time in our house.

But thankfully, the twins grew up and the Furbys lost their luster.

That's the thing about fads--they just can't stand the test of the time. Though some do find ways of surviving...if only on an Australian flight safety card.

Check this out

One of the stories I wrote last semester was recently published in Swamp, an online magazine out of the University of Newcastle. The publication features solely postgrad writers, so check out the link below:

http://www.swampwriting.com/?page_id=6

Ocean: 3, Kelly: 0

My astrological sign is Cancer.

I consider myself a typical Cancerian--empathetic, moody, emotional, thoughtful, perhaps a bit overprotective and defensive.

There is one thing about my sign, though, that Australia has shown me I'm not compatible with. Cancer is a Cardinal Water sign. Yes, I love bath tubs, swimming pools, hot tubs, the occasional wave pool...basically anything where I can see the bottom. Obviously, oceans don't fit into this.

You've heard the story before--I frantically kicked a sea turtle and burned off the top few layers of skin while on the Great Barrier Reef, which therefore ruined my 3-day stint on the Whitsunday Islands in the Coral Sea. For some reason, I thought a whale-watching tour on the Pacific Ocean would redeem my sea-going self.

Did I mention that Cancerians are completely illogical?

I joined Jenny, her mom Penny and her mom's friend, Trish for a $59 whale-watching tour last weekend. Penny lent me one of her prescription-strength sea sickness patches, so I thought I was good to go.

Things couldn't have gone better when we first took off from Darling Harbour. Sure, I was the only moron who wasn't wearing the appropriate attire (I guess I haven't gotten used to the fact that it's winter in June, so I was wearing a long-sleeve top with a light cardigan, whereas everyone else was in gloves and full-on winter gear), but it was sunny and the views of the Harbour Bridge and Opera House were postcard quality.

I was feeling good. But once we left Sydney's harbour area and entered the open ocean, it was almost like the waters weren't even the same. It's like leaving a warm department store and walking out onto a blizzard-blown street during Christmastime. It was amazing how quickly things took a turn for the worse.

Our boat wasn't tiny, but it was by no means huge. The waves were bullying us around like crazy. Screw the patch, I knew it was over. Ironically, the captain pointed out that the day's waves were actually much calmer than the day before.

Anyway, it was about a half hour before someone spotted a whale. By this point, I was so far gone that I was hard pressed to find anything--and I mean anything--that I wanted more than to get back off that God-forsaken boat. While everybody jumped off their seats and rushed to the front of the boat, I sat stoicly in my seat on the far left side of the upper deck. I literally felt anchored to that seat. I honestly don't think a team of whales doing a tap dance routine could have roused me from my position.

Another while later, more whales were spotted near the back of the boat. Again, everyone moved excitedly to spot the next group.

Not long after, Jenny cried out to me to look over the edge of the boat near where I was sitting. Right as I did, a huge humpback whale ascended from the water and crashed back in. Simulatenously, everyone on the boat crowded around me.

And as life would have it, my stomach decided that this was the opportune time to show its weakness. I thought I could simply puke over the rail and into the ocean, but I forgot that people were actually on the lower deck and hanging their expensive cameras off the edge. I doubt they'd find it too amusing to be puked on. Though, let's be honest, being puked on always makes for a great story.

Thankfully, Penny was right next to me. I told her I was about to lose it. Like the great mother she is, she ran to the front of the boat, grabbed a barf bag. Within 3 seconds of giving it to me, as I was cornered by literally 20 eco-lovers and in the presence of one of nature's most glorious creatures, I vomited. And I mean I really let it all out.

To my relief, the whale stole the show. No one really paid any attention to the weird American puking in their midst. I guess I'm happy I wasn't blocking the view.

I felt a little better, but I was freezing and dizzy. Jenny sat next to me and somehow found a warm coat to wrap me in. I realized then that Jenny exuded true friendship that day. It was actually her birthday and she was helping me recover, when it really should've been the other way around. For the hour-long trip back into Sydney, I took a nap on her shoulder.

So that was it. I'm done with this ocean crap. I like to think this was a bit of karma for kicking the sea turtle on the Great Barrier Reef. Whether that's true, I know now I'm meant solely for air and land travel.

Dear ocean,

You win. Maybe I'm really a Gemini.

Much respect,

Kelly

Pictures:

Though $59 bought me a great story, I couldn't get any of the photos I was hoping because I was too sick to operate a camera. So behold, the lone three photos from the day.

Top: The open ocean. Looks so calm and peaceful. Looks can be deceiving.

Middle: Again, I was too sick to operate a camera. You can detect a splash in the middle, though. That was water coming out of a whale's blowhole.

Bottom: A clean replica of the sick bag that saved me from utter humiliation. Thought you'd be dying to see it.

Twilight on Darling Harbour

Since I've been in Australia, I've been lucky to have Jenny around as a roommate and travel partner. But last weekend, I had a rare moment to myself in Sydney's stunning Darling Harbour (ironically enough, I was waiting for Jenny to arrive back from Cairns).

Here are some photos I took of the evening. It was a beautiful Saturday, so the area was bustling with couples going out to dinner, friends grabbing a drink, and folks like me who simply had time to sit on the decks and enjoy the surroundings.

I guess it was one of those moments when I was forced to acknowledge how fortunate I am to be living the way I have been so far...not just since I've been in Oz but everything else that came these 24 years before. While I certainly believe experiences are fulfilling, it's people who truly enrich life.

Funny how it takes being alone half a world away to realize it.

Speaking of obesity...

What says worldwide sport competition like McDonald's?

McDonald's newest gimmick in Oz, known as "Flavours of the Games," highlights five traditional tastes from "the world's five continents." (Apparently South America and Antartica lack continental status here in Australia.)

So this week was the McAmerica bagel's time to shine, and Jenny was keen on trying it (and no, I in no way had any part of it).

So here's what the folks at McDonald's Australia think the rest of the world tastes like:

McEurope: Crispy chicken fillet with parmesan cheese and Napoletana sauce made with tomato, oregano and basil.

McAmerica: Toasted bagel with two rashers of premium bacon, egg, cheese and spicy ketchup. (I don't know a single American who puts ketchup on their eggs. Tobasco, yes. Ketchup, ick.)

McAfrica (this one takes the cake): TWO all-beef patties, cheese, tomato, lettuce and "an exotic African sauce of mayonnaise and spices." (Seriously. I'm not making this up. This toes the fine line between hilarious and absolutely disrespectful.)

McAsia: Two crispy chicken strips in a tortilla wrap topped with cucumber, mayonnaise and Thai sweet chili sauce. (Because nothing says Asia like a tortilla.)

McAustralia: Toasted bun with 100% Aussie beef, bacon, pineapple and bbq sauce. (This one actually makes some sort of sense to me--the Aussies have a unique talent for messing up foods that are really hard to screw up, namely pizza and burgers. They don't understand that oftentimes the classic way is the best way. A pineapple on a burger? I think I'll pass.)

In light of the new obesity findings, I think the McAustralia seems a bit off. Since many Africans will go through life never eating a single cheeseburger, maybe the McAfrica and McAustralia can merge into one single burger known as the "McAustralia Fat Bomb."

Lay off the meat pie, mate

I never thought I'd see the day when Americans were not labeled the fattest people on earth. Well apparently the title follows me wherever I go. I swear, Australia, this has nothing to do with me! Anyway, read the article below and you'll see what I'm talking about:

http://www.theage.com.au/national/nine-million-australians-are-a-ticking-fat-bomb-20080619-2tjv.html

Over 9 million Aussie adults are obese or overweight...that's nearly half the population of the entire country! They're now the fattest people on the planet.

It's hardly a surprise, though. While I've noticed that their portion sizes are considerably smaller than in the States (even at universal restaurants like McDonald's), the national foods of Oz are destined to remain on your hips long after they're consumed. Meat pies, sausage rolls, deep fried and battered fish are staples. Chips (french fries) are EVERYWHERE.

But the most figure damning of them all? One word--Cadbury.

The Australian confectionery industry is unlike anything in America. And yes, I would know. Candy aisles here are twice the size of their American counterparts and for good reason. The candy here is way better, which makes it way harder to resist. Which is way Aussies are now so bloody fat!

For as long as I can remember, I've struggled with my weight. I grew up in a state with substantial weight problems. Then I moved to Chicago, one of America's most super-sized cities with its famed deep dish pizza and hot dogs (which I often dream about...). I thought I was making a healthy move by heading down under! Instead it looks like I'm just chasing the fat.

Dancing light

I actually hated this picture when I first took it, but now I think it's pretty cool. This photo of Sky City looks like someone shot a bunch of streamers in front of the lens...and it kind of looks like the tops of the buildings are on fire. I guess my camera acts like its on an acid trip whenever I take photos of heavily-lit things at night.

More of New Zealand

Top: Sky City towering over the rest of downtown Auckland.

Middle: Shopping downtown.

Bottom: Victoria Park Markets, located a bit outside the city. We weren't too impressed--a bit too much souvenir crap.

Straight out of a musical

Here are some shots of Devonport. Pretty adorable, huh? Looking at this, you'd expect the townspeople to open their shudders and prance into the street, singing a great chorus to welcome us to their quaint village. But no such luck.

We did get to see a horse-drawn carriage, though! But as the picture also reveals, that's not the town's sole mode of transportation.

The second shot was taken immediately after getting off the ferry in Devonport. You see, you have to take a ferry from downtown Auckland to get to Devonport (it's only about a 5-minute ride). That only added to the place's cuteness.

The last photo is of the Esplanade hotel. I thought this building was absolutely beautiful.

We loved Devonport so much that we went out there twice. The second time around, we grabbed lunch at Devonport Stone Oven Bakery & Cafe and all ordered the tomato soup. It was so delicious that we decided to return later for afternoon tea. There wasn't any singing, but I guess you could say the place rubbed off on us.

Going trans-Tasman

I hopped over to New Zealand for a few days last week. No big deal.

It was AWESOME! Jenny, Amy (one of the Aussies who is also in our program) and I went to Auckland, which is located on the North Island and is the country's largest city.

We spent about four days there--a short visit, but we covered a lot of ground. We spent time in many of the city's most popular districts, including quaint Devonport, Parnell village, chic Newmarket, up-and-coming Ponsonby and the very eclectic Karangahape Rd. (known locally as "K Rd."). Our hotel was also located on Queen St.-- in the heart of the central business district.

While our visit was condensed, I learned quite a bit about New Zealand. First, New Zealanders pronounce their "a's" and "e's" like "i's." The people are also incredibly friendly and polite, which was refreshing to say the least. In many ways, New Zealand reminded me of Vermont. I'll never forget noticing how natural the locals looked when I visited Vermont in 2006. The women were fashionable, but they didn't pile on the makeup or look "loud." That's how New Zealand is, and it's so different from Wollongong. To put it plainly, New Zealand is to Vermont as Australia is to California.

Also, New Zealanders care a whole lot about the environment. The air is so clean and the city actually seems to be doing something about sustainability. The public transportation system is the best I've ever seen. They have a "green" system of Link buses that cost only $1.60 (no matter where you get on or off) and take you everywhere in the city. The buses are popular but not overcrowded. Being so cheap and with its huge network of stops, it's a great incentive not to drive.

I also learned that New Zealand greatly reveres its Maori heritage. The Maoris are the indigenous Polynesians of New Zealand. The Maori presence is much more apparent in everyday New Zealand life than the Aboriginal culture is in Australia. Many public signs are written both in English and Maori. Maoris have assimilated into the mainstream culture in a way that the Aboriginal culture hasn't. Maori Tiki men are sold EVERYWHERE. And for some reason, it seems a bit more genuine than the wooden boomerangs you see migrants selling at the seedy markets here in Oz.

Speaking of seedy markets, most of our time was spent shopping and exploring the sprawling city. Really is a beautiful place. If you're ever a three-hour flight away, I strongly encourage you make the trip. Really, though, it's worth the trip no matter where you're coming from.

Top pic: Amy and I at the Devonport ferry station with the Auckland skyline behind us. The tall, pointy structure in the middle of the skyline is Sky City, the tallest structure in the Southern Hemisphere.

Bottom: A stone pathway winding through one of the shopping nooks in Parnell village.

A night at the Opera

Jenny and I have gazed (or gawked) at the splendor of the Sydney Opera House plenty of times since we've been here, but we finally found ourselves inside the place last week.

We saw Hamlet...at the Sydney Opera House. I still can't get over how cool the whole thing is! It was a really great night--we caught a light dinner at Ship Inn in Circular Quay, then we grabbed a glass of wine at the outdoor Opera Bar before the Friday evening show. It was a beautiful evening and the crystal clear Harbour Bridge view was unbeatable. It really made me think about where I was a year ago and how your life can change in such a short amount of time.

Our showing was a preview show (which is how we snagged $35 tickets) and was actually the first time the cast had performed the show in its entirety. You wouldn't have known it, though. I thought it was fantastic, despite the fact that some of the actors couldn't part with their Aussie accents.

I did notice one thing during intermission. There were some families at the show with young or teenage children. Can you imagine being an 8-year-old and going to see Hamlet at the Sydney Opera House? I can't even begin to wrap my mind around the fact that going to the Sydney Opera House is just going to the opera for some people out there. Blows my mind.

Buy Iowa in Australia

Iowa is trendy Down Under.

If you can't see, the pictured hoodie reads, "Iowa: The Hawkeye State."

Cotton On, a popular Australian chain store, is selling a variety of hoodies highlighting America's more obscure locales. If Iowa's not your thing, there's also Wyoming, Montana and plenty more I can't think of at the moment.

Turns out, Chicago, L.A. and NYC aren't distictive enough anymore. Who knew? Funny thing is, I bet most of the Aussie kids sporting these hoodies wouldn't know Iowa from Idaho on the map. But I shouldn't judge. I've got my eye on a Waratahs rugby union t-shirt, and I couldn't name one player on the team.